But it takes time to develop trust.  Through their research, networking experts Anne Baber and Lynne Waymon with Contacts Count, and co-authors of “Make Your Contacts Count,” determined it takes 6-8 interactions before people start to know who you are and if they can count on you.

People can’t mandate others to trust them, but some users of LinkedIn are trying to do exactly that through the messages they send out.  Recently I received a such a message from a Realtor I agreed to connect with even though I didn’t know him.  I saw that some of my first and second connections were in his network, and so decided to say yes.

I was quite surprised to get a “hard sell” message as the first communication from him.  There was no hello, or “I’m glad we are connected,” before he launched right into his pitch.  He ended by saying he looked forward to working with me.  I, however, have no idea if I can count on him to be reliable and trustworthy because I simply don’t know him.

I believe these kinds of messages are an abuse of LinkedIn.  They do not inspire trust and make me reticent to ever do business with people who use them.  It is important to remember that networking is not an aggressive sales approach.  It is creating and cultivating a mutually beneficial relationship.

I received this inquiry recently and it reminded me how much this question is of concern to job seekers.  I believe employers are looking for skills that match their needs, and that match must be clearly evident in the resume before an interview will be scheduled.  They must see how a job seeker’s qualifications will help them with their bottom line.

Therefore, understanding how to write a resume is essential.  There are many good resources about resumes, including professional resume writers, websites and books.  One of the best is Susan Ireland’s book, The Perfect Resume, (New York: Penguin Group. 2010).  She also gives free advice and sample resumes on her site, www.susanireland.com.

In addition, the latest surveys show that 75-80% of jobs are found through networking.  Building relationships is a skill that is absolutely essential today because people refer others they like and trust.  You are able to demonstrate good attitude and initiative as you build relationships, and a possible job referral or lead may be the result.

I had this happen to me.  I wrote my weekly blog and as I was putting it on LinkedIn decided to change a few words from what I had posted on my company Facebook page.  I had copied that Facebook post and pasted it and as I was reading it over on Linkedin, I discovered that one of the words was misspelled in the Facebook entry.  I quickly realized that I hadn’t been careful enough, and now this mistake was out there!

This may seem too insignificant to even write about.  But it drove home for me the importance of proofreading.  I had read the Facebook post three or four times and yet I still missed the error.  For any important document, proofread, and proofread again.  Then give it to a family member or friend to make sure all mistakes are caught and corrected.

One error may determine how you are perceived.

You can send an email or a card.  How you deliver the thank-you is not as important as writing a heartfelt message.  People like to receive these notes.  A bonus is that bosses notice employees who can express appreciation.

But this can happen to people who are not famous too.

A few years ago, I listened to a teleseminar and as I was about to hang up, I heard two women make negative comments about the program we just heard.  I was startled to hear them talking that way and wondered if the presenter was still on the line too.

It was clear these two women thought they were alone, but I’m uncertain why they felt that was the case.  This was not a muted teleseminar and anyone could ask questions during the program.  Even though it was over two years ago, I still remember this experience vividly, and it was similar to being caught with the microphone on.

My advice to these women and anyone else tempted to make negative remarks:

Don’t have a personal conversation and start complaining when you don’t know who else could be on the line, or in range to hear such comments.  Instead, make certain you are alone and only have such a conversation with trusted colleagues or friends.

But what does that really mean?

Each person interprets the word “promptly” differently, but the dictionary defines it as immediately, rapidly, or even sooner than expected.  The use of the word “promptly” sets up an expectation that the person you’ve called will actually call you back quickly, meaning within the hour or no more than two hours.

Let me state that I am not referring to unsolicited sales calls, but rather people with whom you do business, those seeking answers or assistance, and others you know.

It is not always possible to respond promptly.  But people leaving messages don’t know that, and hearing they will get a call “right away” is first encouraging, and then when it doesn’t happen, discouraging.

Protect your reputation.  Don’t say, “I’ll call you right back,” unless you intend to do so.

“I was a student in your class.  I have a question.  Would you please call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx?”

At that moment I had a dilemma.  What should I do?  I had no idea who this person was.   I wanted to return the call because this student sounded sincere and one who needed my help.  On the other hand, I didn’t know her name.  What would I say when calling if she didn’t pick up the phone?

I decided to call and hoped she would answer, which she did.  I was able to help and she was relieved.  However, this situation brought to mind how important it is to think of the person on the receiving end when leaving a voice mail message.

Voice Mail Tips:

1. Always say who you are, even if you are sure the other person will recognize your voice.

2. State what you need so that the person can be prepared when returning your call.  You may save an extra phone call that way.

3. Say your phone number slowly and repeat it, even if the person you are calling has it.  Then he/she will not need to search for it.

4. Be brief and concise.  Do not include details that are unnecessary, and resist the temptation to ask several questions in one voice mail.

5. Tell the person when you will be available for a return call.  This helps avoid phone tag.

To sum it up, tell people who you are!  They will be most appreciative.

One of the most common complaints is about people who are pushy and out for the sale.  One participant  I’ll call “Debra,” told me she had met a person, “Joe,” online in a LinkedIn group and subsequently went to his website.   In an email to Joe, Debra mentioned she liked his site and then received a call from him the next day.

Joe started out the conversation with, “I just want to know if you are interested in being a client since you’ve looked at my website.”

Then Joe asked Debra if she was happy with her current advisor, and when she said she was, Joe abruptly ended the conversation with, “My other line is ringing.”

What is wrong with this approach?  Debra has never met Joe in person and had only had a few email exchanges and one phone call from him.  She doesn’t know about his character, or competence, and if she can trust him yet.  Research done by Contacts Count found that it takes 6-8 interactions before other people start to know who you are and if they can count on you.

In this case, trust had not been established.  Joe just wanted the sale.  No wonder Debra found the call memorable enough to mention in the workshop.

Joe’s approach is definitely not networking, but most certainly irritating.

“It’s too bad when an employee comes to expect no words of praise for a job well done.”

She was referring to a colleague who had secured a large contract for their company.  This was a major accomplishment for the business.  But rather than congratulating this employee for a substantial victory, her boss chose to say nothing.  Apparently this was his normal practice.

My friend said to me, “How hard is it to say you appreciate an employee’s effort?”

While employees are expected to do their jobs well, a simple thank you would have gone a long way.  Expressing how much such an effort is appreciated takes little time to say, but is greatly valued by employees who receive that recognition.   Showing gratitude is a trait that is important to demonstrate in whatever position you hold.

After careful inspection of the bathroom, laundry area, and basement ceiling, nothing was found that needed to be fixed immediately, but I was given some tips about where to check for dampness and what to watch.

As she and her partner finished up, I asked what I owed and she said, “Nothing.  We didn’t do any work.”

Her response impressed me so much that I wrote a testimonial for her on LinkedIn and will certainly call her the next time we need assistance.  She was highly competent, customer friendly, and I saw her character firsthand.

These are the elements of being trustworthy and this plumber understands that building trust with customers is critically important. That is a valuable lesson for everyone to learn and practice.